OMG A NEW FLASH GAME THAT DOESN'T SUCK!!!

Well, anyone familiar with flash games knows of Epic Battle Fantasy...
They just released a full length RPG game. It is Playstation 1 console quality... which is saying something good for a flash game.


I played for maybe 4 strait hours, and am finding the game challenging, even on easy mode. For any RPG, it doesn't to rely on heavy grinding, and the story seems pointless. However, this fits within the EPF humor.


Rate this 5/5 and I'm damn proud to be playin' it.


Newground's Front Page... It is there.

Dante's Divine Comedy

If anyone would like the whole thing translated into English.
You can view and copy it here.

Dante's Divine Comedy

Modern Major General

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,

In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,

I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,

And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Jagex Released A New Game Recently

...and if you are looking for a link to it... you are in the wrong place. I hate Jagex and their money pilfering business. Yes, even I will admit they have been improving here presently, but most of these "Improvements" are in the end-all, almost entirely profit driven. Some of the players of games like Runescape, have been paying there monthly fee since the games conception; Which is now almost triple the price it was when I started, and now will be switching (very soon) to 3 month block payment.

On top of this, they haven't done much to defend players from hackers by using a Java Engine. Not much has to be done there to ruin the game for everyone... though of course I am just personally waiting for some uberhacker to root their server, and backups. Then EVERYONE will stop playing runescape...

Runescape sucks, deal with it. It has no real storyline... Its scripting engine is horrible... and It is grinding intensive. Why would I play runescape, when on even my computer, can run most 3D MMO's without much difficulty.

Speaking of 3D MMO's... I leave Maple Story open for the next segment.

Micronations

Tired of the country you live in... Well come join us an make one now.


Well, or you can just join mine. - MicroNations

Lol... Jehovah's Witnesses

So, my girlfriend was staying at my house for a few days. She didn't want to be around her family for a few personal reasons. Her father is a member of the convent of Jehovah's Witnesses. He cares not for her, is very abusive, and she has wicked nightmares about him (I have witnessed this many times).


On the first day of her visit, she stayed over... her dad really didn't seem to care. No seriously, seem like he just wanted her to die, and be out of his hair forever. (It seems most members of the convent use their children as bait for the brotherhood. I have several witnesses accounts of them standing outside of the walmart in our home town at six in the morning sending their seven year old daughter to hand out information regarding the good word.) However, on the second day of her visit, we stayed up till 3 in the morning because she was afraid to fall asleep. At six-forty am she headed out for her thirty minute bike ride to school. My dad left at about seven to go to work.


My dad returned home at about nine-thirty. I was still in bed when he opened the door. Apparently, her dad had called the police and reported her missing. He was pissed, and told me she is not to come in his house until she is the age of 18. Undoubtedly, they must have visited her at school as well, but she is still there until two-thirty when she gets out.


Here is the interesting part, after my dad left I woke up. When police preform investigations, they normally check all routes. Meaning, they should come by the house at some point today. I mean, they already went to my dad's place of work. He must have told him that I was at home, so they should come by to talk to me. I will point out the fact that the father is abusive to my girlfriend, and that her nightmares about him persist. This will be taken as a reliving of an event in her past, most likely something serious. I may or my not give them a tip as to other things that are happening within the local convent. I have reason to believe that they are planing to assassinate a member of congress passing a certain religion centered bill. (That is my theory anyway.)


Point is, the father has just followed through will a blackmail attempt. His blackmail is stated as "Stop seeing my daughter, or I will have you arrested for statutory rape."... seriously. He truly believes that he can just call the police, tell them I raped his daughter, and I go to jail forever. LOL...


Why willn't this work...
1 - Contented - Yeah, she happens to like it...
2 - Legal Age of Consent - It is 16 in my state
3 - Legal Emancipation - As a general rule, when a child reaches the age of majority, the child is then "emancipated," freeing the child's parents of any further support obligations. This means that a parent is not a parent if one of the following cases is to occur. MARRIAGE, ENTERING THE ARMED FORCES, BECOMING PREGNANT, EARNING ONE'S OWN SUPPORT AND ABANDONING PARENTS' HOME. The same principle can be applied to find a child is emancipated when he or she drops out of school with no intention to returning, with the intention of being free from parental authority. The mere act of dropping out of high-school, however, will not usually constitute emancipation. Also, jurisprudent courts will assist children wishing emancipation, if the parents are NEGLECTFUL or OTHERWISE ABUSIVE which it is in this case.
4 - Cause For Probable Religious Disassociation - The fact he father is treating her as a slave within "his" household do the the way in which is religious views operate, which are by default sexist and female reclusive. Also, the father feels as though he daughter is less than human, due to willful disassociation of the convent of Jehovah's Witnesses. 
5 - Legal Rights as A Parent - Because, quite simply, any person may leave any place at any time. The only reason a person would prevent another from leaving is out of protection. She is safe on her own, and feels she is indeed harmed less outside of her home (Which she refers to as a prison) than in the open atmosphere of the world around her...


I could keep writing, but I seriously want to kick some legal ass right now.


Dad calls me a rapist... which I'm not - Slander, Deformation of Character
Dad charging me with rape... which I DEFINITELY didn't do - False Accusation with Intent to Harm, Blackmail, Perjury, Filling a False Police Report
Dad charging me with kidnapping... - She FLED on her own because she felt threatened... I was protecting her.
Verbal Assault within a Public Venue - Verbal Battery
Sexual Abuse of a Minor within the Family
Probable Cause for the Accusation of the Solicitation of Child Pornography
Trespassing on Private Property
Soliciting in an Prohibited Area
Extortion within the Convent of Jehovah's Witnesses...


I'm sure I can find more later. I'm out of this bitch.

Re... to: thelulzdoitforthem.blogspot.com's Lifehack

For more daily Lifehack's and some of the most crude, and funny shit on the internet... visit The Lulz: Do It For Them at blogspot.

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It's actually a lot more effective than you think.

Lime-Juice will work about 200% better than vinegar will, because it smells and tastes better (its going to be on and in your mouth), and is slightly more acidic. Don't use lemon juice... there is a chemical in it that makes tear gas toxic.

Also, an alternative, is to place a lime juice soaked bandanna inside, rather a medical mask if you don't have one. If you can't fashion a gas mask in time, just use the bandanna covering only the nose and mouth. Tear-Gas will attack the bandanna first without ever really reaching the eyes.

In all cases the cloth must be damp to be effective. Also, remember you can always overpower the teargas, if you have a lot of acid in your system... (i.e. drink 2-liters Coke-Cola, or Volt... or actually any coke product will work. Just make sure, if your teeth feel gritty after a while, that means you have enough acid in the body. It does lesson the effects of teargas significantly.)

Information was gathered from several people (including myself, but only briefly) with actually experience.